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Calming a child. Well, as much as they will allow.

Sometimes, just like a grown up, children just want to express the sorrow they feel. This can be as natural as breathing for some and difficulty for others.

These are only my thought and what has worked for me. In an emergency situation, call 911 or other associated health services.

Acknowledge the pain.

  • If the womb is physical you may need to have some understanding of first aid techniques, this seem obvious but it can be a tremendous help in giving the child reassurance that you have a solution they will get better. When tending to the womb of older kids or a child that is able to articulate there thoughts, you should ask for permission to assist. Personal space can be a challenge for some so do not assume they will allow.
  • Give other children that are present clear instructions like sit on a chair or sit against the wall away from the injury if visually concerning.
  • If this is an emotional pain some visible line of sight may be necessary and or audible isolation may help some individuals be more open to communicate.
  • Speak is the calmest voice possible, avoid “baby talk” or “sing song words” with kids older than kindergarten.
  • Calm reassuring tone seems to work best, with brief pauses between questions to all for response.
  • Some kid physiological responses can be so extreme that they may start hyperventilating, screaming or shouting, for these children you should give instructions on controlling their breathing. A child that is able to take in and release a deep breath should regain some semblance of control of the emotions allowing them to communicate their concerns.
  • This can be beneficial, it may resolve the hurt, particularly an emotional one.
  • If the child is in an emotional distress state, sometimes it may help to talk the through it, mentioning something they like, asking a direct question unrelated to the event like:
    1. What’s your favorite team
    2. What’s your favorite place
    3. What’s your favorite food again?
    4. What’s your best friend’s name? Any others along this line.
  • The disruption in thought regarding the pain or event sometime can have a quickening effect of the child’s grief process.
  • Be as patient with their process, give them the attention necessary to know that they are the current priority. For those who seem clingy in the moment or in need of undivided attention, speak in moments as to what is coming next. Some others you may need to make the moments timed, checking in at the end of the moment on there status with up next action steps.
  • Most children respond to a warm embrace or physical touch and others may need it. Touch by parents is recommended until the child verbally tells you they no longer need the gesture. A more common progression would be for it to evolve into half hugs, back or should tap or touch, then hand based communication gestures like fist bump, high five or hand shakes. If this is your child don’t assume that if you were raised one way the child should not want certain gestures because you didn’t. This may be interpreted as lacking love or concern for their needs. Remember that there are several things that contribute to how a child is processing hurt.
  • For example:
    • Genetic and epigenetic.
    • Social and emotional well-being due to current environment
    • Overall lack of affection due to need and presence for some who are unable to get the amount they would like.
    • Other underlying behavioral concerns or health challenges.

Note the positive in review so the child can note what you see amongst other benefits.

Thank you again for reading. Kidstrive to reach the fullest potential.

Calm so we can get to knowledge, then understanding leading to their wisdom.

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