What are the really saying. Most are daring you to come near. Daring you to use words that connect and prove you actually care. Most are typically tired of being tested and measured that they sometimes are unaware when they start becoming experts at it as well.
Don’t fall for the lies of the one liners. Dig deeper, wow them with new material. Go ahead, say something nice, well timed of course. They will see you in a different light. Imagine the word Teeeeen as a jet fueled race car, their world moves pretty quickly and it starts in middle school. So much to remember and so much land mines to look out for. They are coming into their own, only that the interpretation could be a bit wonky sometimes as they sought things out. Friends, school, relationships, family, money, emotional causes that they are still scratching their heads why it matters.
Dig deeper fir the words that connect, grow thicker skins because they are a reflection of our insides. The outer shell is still forming through the growing pains. They still know how to love and communicate, they typically walk around with a bravado as if they know it all but what they are asking is for us to prove what we know to be true. It’s all up for question at this point. “Is the earth flat, is the sun revolving around the earth, how can water be all three, are we descendants of animals, how does adulting really work, who will want to hire me …… and so much more questions flying through their heads intersection one another. Take a question and help them sort it out truthfully, so know your truth. It really annoys them when we are wish washy with our answers. Imagine you went to a CEO of an organization and he or she told you they weren’t to sure, who would want to be on any of those ships 🚢: Relationship, partnership, and many other ships. Sit up straight and grab some coffee like any CEO would do. Take the first question you believe you understand and answer honestly. Pace yourself, show some vulnerability and pivot gracefully if you need to spend a bit more time on some of the tougher questions.
Okay, you are now on your way to building a new relationship with them based in honestly and truth. They get really annoyed if they feel that we are not held to the same standards, spurring thoughts that we could never understand what they are going through. Rebuild the connections with new routines like walks, runs or biking. Purchase a gift in any one of the areas they seem slightly interested and put it on the calendar. If they don’t keep the commitment the first time. Accept the cancellation and get a verbal agreement on a future date we eager expectation. It’s all a test! Pass it gracefully so you can test again and again. They will speak about a gift to a friend and some else may show them that they should approve. I know it’s weird but stick with it. If you don’t know where to start, start with the area they have noted as a struggle or you know to be a struggle and make the kindest gesture you could some up with no expectations.
Love them through the changes, you could deepen the bond which will allow you the opportunity to speak to the deepest aspects of their lives. Don’t loose the connection. Imagine for a moment why does a tumble weed roll. 1 It has lost connection to its life giving foundation which is its roots. 2 It drys out and becomes light. 3 It conforms to the tossing of the wind and prepare its shape into a ball because of repeated moving impact. Note: That made up analogy went further than I thought but it was founded in my understanding and I believe you get my point.
Keep them planted near water so the roots can be established and let no one take them up and attempt to replant them away from the source. Connectivity is crucial to there identity, they need to take more notes from you even though they seem as if they aren’t listening be dynamic yet statue like in the best aspects of your character. Heal your wounds so they don’t manifest in a false sense of truth. “My truth,” we all know there can only be one truth. Find it out and heal so we can set the best examples. I know this may seem intense but believe me, it’s coming from someone who have been looking hard inwardly absent of fear.
Kidstrive to believe what you tell them.