How dare you? When did you get to be so rude?

What a common phrase. Not sure when kids begin to get sassy and verbally defiant.

So, “while we were out,” we missed when this attitude appears. It’s seems to be associated with several factors around the are of 7 – 14 and even earlier for some. Typically arising at the most unlikely of times at first. Then they begin to home in on the perfect timing, injecting a statement that is clearly rude with intention.

Immediately correct the behavior but be aware that it most likely was an attempt to get your attention. Therefore this should be accommodated at your earliest availability. Sit with your child and get to the root. Work hard not to force answers out, a more suitable approach is to ask a series of questions based on what your suspect. Call it parent intuition, but this highly inappropriate response is usually associated in the presence of guess, while you were on the phone, after a recent argument with them or even someone else they care about, undivided attention given to a sibling, or when a request that was important to them is denied. Some solutions:

  • Let them know their worth and value in the family .
  • Some kids may only need a bit of attention in the form of a hug or some other forms of affection.
  • Commend something they have done lately.
  • Explaining the importance of the call, or conversation or family event that was affected but not without letting them know their expected role in those type of scenarios and why they are so important.
  • Correct the sibling tension by giving scheduled time to each child. (Routinely) Then having family time together in the home where open discussions can occur. Keep a general agenda for these family moments. A reading of a faith based book, a family game, poetry, singing a song together, or any activity that includes turn taking and eye contact. Note: this may seem like an omission but food, dinner and any eating seem to be a distraction for this type of intimacy. I am not undermining its importance and is still very important to do.
  • Avoid heavy correction in the presence of their friends, it may be tempting for some parenting styles but this can do more damage to your relationship than its worth.
  • In general, Lean in! This is an opportunity to address something that ales.

In closing, be careful how you handle these behaviors when they first arise. If there is a sign of laughter or praise there may be a misunderstanding on behalf of the child. They are not fully equipped mentally and emotionally to discern laughter and approval.

Thank you for reading. Kidstrive for acknowledgement and recognition!

#You are being rude right now!


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