For the position I hold as husband and partner, father and and provider, teacher and presence?
Simon Sinek’s (speaker) message is spot on in regards to what it takes to be a leader. The willingness to take care of those around you and in turn it may be added to you but those that love you. (along these lines)
Leadership in a corporation has a few similarities but is very different from a marriage. He says the praise you receive is for the position and that is true. People only value the seat even if you have been involved in creating the said value as the company grows. Without the seat you will loose all or most of the benefits that came with the seat.
In marriage the nearest closest thing is that of a founder and it’s still not a comparison for what it means to be a father and a husband. This role rest on a vow that two people take to walk this journey through sickness and health till death. Being two spirit beings agreeing to travel this journey together in a partnership as a lover and helper, provider and friend, the source and sustainer, teacher and presence is a lifelong committment that goes beyond the grave. I know the role seems intense and heavy my description but I will wait for someone to tell me it’s too much. Most likely you will have more to add to the role.
We cannot continue to believe a belief that because you are not happy or found someone else you deemed to be more suitable or even if you are tired and fed up that we can end a union like a job transitions a leader, let’s go of an employee, or break ties from a merger. The goal of marriage is to become in the eyes of God based on the vow you committed. The circumstances in a separation or divorce I do not take likely. It not healthy for anyone to be subjected to abuse, servitude or blatant disregard and neglect.
Instead I am pointing to the vows themselves which we agree and sometimes take lightly.
“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.”
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This commitment is the greatest one you make to another human in your lide. So unlike the leadership analogy of benefits to the seat. To this seat there is no stepping down. The things you share in this union are forever interwoven to who you are in some form or the other. If seperated aspects of the other will be practically woven to your DNA. (think epigenetics)
If kids are involved I do not to say another word and I won’t. I respect the challenges you might face but work hard to make each other better stretch yourself in the pursuit of connecting the divide and forgive so the stain does not follow you.
Thank you for reading. I sincerely hope you can receive the hope and prayer in this message. No guilt shame or condemnation here. I only try to understand the problem with a solution mentality for a better atmosphere for all.
Please understand that these words are said with love for unions, which makes for a better community and therefore the best country we could make it because we were placed in charge of it. A living legacy to be handed to our kids better that we received it. Ask for assistance from the moment something does not feel right and let us all take responsibility for our decisions and actions. Let’s get better at connecting with another so no one ever suffers alone when it feels like all is lost. Love is an action word.
# I am sorry for the pain, feelings of rejection, hurt and tears. You are not alone.
#We are all transforming to better expressions and versions of ourselves even when at time it seems we are in the furnace. There is hope